Exercise Regime

In an effort to break up my exercise regime cheaply (as opposed to taking a class at an expensive gym), I decided to check out the exercise videos available on demand. I chose a random video that was supposed to be a mix of cardio activities. It was a flashback to when I was little. Exercise videos have not changed since the 1980's! It was a group of ladies in tight work out clothes rolling their necks and squatting and waving their arms. The one piece leotards, leg warmers, and headbands were absent but the music was bad and the counting was the same. BORING. In case you didn't raid your mom's collection of workout videos when you were little to know what i am talking about, here is a visual. Jane Fonda was the greatest.

I was about to give up and go the gym when I found a Carmen Electra Cardio Strip Tease video. I've heard of it, but never seen it. How could this be boring? The video started with all the wave your arms, roll your neck stuff and there was the counting business. I was about to give up again and then we started stretching our hips and rolling stomachs. It started getting more interesting. Then we started combining some hip action moves and some stomach moves. I've never felt more uncoordinated. I guess sexy moves don't come very easily to me. I had to start watching Carmen very closely to be able follow along with all of the moves. The closer I watched, the more I felt Carmen was not at all teaching me how to get a sexy/fun cardio workout. She was simply flaunting and rolling her perfect, flat stomach, curved hips, and huge breasts. Eventually I wasn't even really trying anymore because all I could see were her breasts. That is not motivation for me to workout. Its more motivation to get plastic surgery, which was not the kind of fun I was looking for. I went to the gym and swore off all workout videos unless it is Tae Bo, because that is actually fun sometimes. I like to pretend I'm learning Karate, even though I look like a fool. Fake Karate moves come much more naturally to me than strip tease moves.

Look at her. This is a tame photo. In the video, she flaunts it.